I wish I could make this an epic blog, but I’m not that good of a writer. There are no words that I can use to describe what I am feeling, but I’ll do my best to share my story and get you to see why I believe Jesus is awesome.
This past Friday I wrote a blog about the goodness of God, and how he desires to give us great things. He doesn’t hold out on us. If you haven’t read it, or need to be refreshed please go read it, before going on.
Like all revelations or lessons there is a journey that came before the blog.
Kenya has been hard on me – really, really hard. My faith has been tested and at times I’ve been in yelling matches with God. I’ve been so down I’ve questioned my calling and His realness.
From constant sickness and broken relationships to empty/negative bank accounts I’ve thrown in the towel more than once… I couldn’t do it anymore.
At the end of last year I told God that the only reason I stayed in Kenya was the boys. I said Your calling can’t keep me here anymore.
Some of you are very surprised right now, because our Instagram lives look so awesome online.
But what’s really awesome about my life isn’t what’s posted on Instagram, it’s the men I have around me praying, encouraging, and even laughing at me when I tell them I’m quitting. They know me and God too well.
When I came back to Kenya this year I made some promises. I no longer would be held down by past relationships, sins against me or mistakes I’ve made. I wouldn’t focus on the short comings of others but instead focus on the power of Christ in our lives.
I choose to see inheritance over brokenness.
I choose to worship when I don’t have time. Regular intentional prayer is a non-negotiable.
When I am down, I’ll focus on God’s goodness, no matter how hard I have to try.
When our bank account is $1700 in the red like it was last week and we feel God calling us to start a new ministry to empower women that is going to cost us around $50k to start – I’ll proclaim His faithfulness and how he gives us good gifts.
I will choose trust.
Why? Because all He does is ask us to have faith. This year I have been happier and healthier than I’ve been since I’ve been in Kenya because of what I’ve chosen to do out of faith, instead of what might come naturally.
A couple hours after that blog posted, I got an email that $15,000 was donated to 61project.
Keep faith. Proclaim His goodness. We all hit rock bottom. You know, I don’t think God would care if I left Kenya… but it’d break His heart if I didn’t see how much He cared for me and believed in me.
His heart is for you. He looks past your doubts and sees the ounce of faith if you let Him.
* I’m not leaving Kenya anytime soon guys.
** I’ll keep posting to Instagram, just know that I’m not fooled by how artsy or cool your life is, so please don’t be fooled by mine
*** We’ll be sharing more very very soon about the women’s ministry. Please be praying!
(The above pictures are some of what aren’t seen, and yes… that is a cup for a stool sample.)